Therefore it is only natural that as we begin to process more light into our consciousness and into our experiences that we will be faced with the darker regions of our personality/ego. For many this is quite the battle, and our pilgrimage of spirit becomes a tug of war between our higher and lower states of consciousness. Many of us have very strong ego’s which require a great deal of awareness and patience to overcome and eventually master.
I know from experience that its not easy. We all will have moments of weakness when we feel disconnected, depressed and even lost and confused. The path is no longer clear and we find ourselves asking questions rather then listening for the answers. We become impatient with ourselves and with others which only acts to perpetuate our negative feelings and thoughts. This is what has been referred to as the “Dark Night of the Soul”.
First off, this is COMPLETELY NORMAL. So stop thinking that you just are not cut out for this whole Evolution thing. Each of us are fighting a great battle, which is why its paramount to be patient and understanding of others and especially yourself. Try to imagine our lives as a cycle, a wheel or gear if you will. Imagine it as two spheres, one representing experience born from the higher self, and one that reflects the choices of the Ego or lower self. Each sphere spins in unison and is deeply connected. For many people on the planet, the Ego’s sphere is much larger then the True selves sphere, so therefore they experience longer periods of suffering and disconnection and relatively short periods of clarity and peace.
Through application of conscious awareness of our Ego and its activity in our lives, our spiritual sphere begins to grow as our ego sphere begins to shrink. So our realities shift. We begin to experience greater periods of clarity, peace, wisdom and love and shorter periods of dis-unity and un-happiness. Don’t be mistaken. We all will still experience, however brief, experiences of disconnection and dis-unity. Its natural and in many ways necessary.
“In the absence of what we are not, what we are; is not…” – Conversations with God
So the next time you catch yourself down and out and just don’t feel all that Divine, remind yourself that this too shall pass, and is an intrinsic part of our spiritual growth and ascension.